poems, thoughts and outbursts

irrational thoughts
are often the most exciting
and often
the most terrible

i wonder if there is something i left out
when i decided
who i would be

could you please
make me feel beautiful today

it would really help
to make me feel better

there are days
i long for
a girlfriend
to take me as i am
and understand
all the little things
that boys
just
don’t
get

i don’t ever expect
apologies

although
i fantasize about
each and every
possible
one

when i was younger
i was always right
now
i know better

why have you not learned
from your years

they don’t like it
if you are too beautiful
but they’ll look at beauty
as it passes by

heaven forbid
someone else
looks at you
the same way

i hate men
yells my bruised ego
my broken heart

but
i know
that is a big fat
lie

if only
it were that
easy

surrounded by people who

don’t care about originality

or rights of people

well

sometimes

if it makes them look good

or doesn’t compromise their comfort

or like-ablility

and it’s rare to find someone

who wants to be better

not just praised

or someone who wants to risk

something

anything

to feel more alive

or learn something new.

i’m uninspired

to attempt opening minds that don’t want to be opened.

fantasizing
about running away to mexico
or somewhere
lets me know
that i am avoiding something
of importance